From volunteer to confidant: Co Galway women find kinship in one another

Not all friendships last. But Margaret Smith and Eileen Larkin are certain – theirs will go the distance.

“We’re never going to fall out,” Margaret says, a small fireplace smouldering soundlessly at her feet.

Eileen nods from her seat. “We’re making our plans already. If Margaret has to move closer to family — if she decides to, eventually — I’ll have my bedroom picked in her new house.”

Margaret laughs. “She will! And she’s more than welcome.”

They met through ‘ALONE,’ a charity organisation that provides supports to older people in Ireland. With latest data from the European Parliament shining a spotlight on the worsening loneliness epidemic in Ireland, organisations like ALONE become important lifelines for people to meaningfully connect to one another.

A perfect pairing

Margaret was born in Co Tipperary, and moved to Tuam in the 1980s when she remarried after her first husband passed away from bone cancer.

In 2018 she suffered a stroke, which eventually led her to reach out to ALONE. An ALONE coordinator arranged for Margaret to meet Eileen, who had recently signed up to volunteer.

“The two of us just hit it off,” Margaret says.

“And I thought: ‘This is great! Someone a bit like myself to laugh and joke with’.”

Eileen, meanwhile, signed up with ALONE shortly after her mother passed away in 2022.

“During time she was sick, she had no one to do the little things,” Eileen says. “Getting her hair done, or when she wanted to go out and buy clothes.”

“I used to think ‘God, I wish there was someone who would visit mum while she was sick.’ It would’ve been brilliant.”

Her friendship with Margaret came about very smoothly, Eileen says.

“We just clicked, really. Even [Margaret’s husband] Michael liked me.”

The two became close, with Eileen supporting Margaret when Michael’s health was on the decline.

“Things became awkward in the end,” Margaret says. “He became contrarian. And said Eileen was going to desert me because she can’t take this.”

When Michael passed away, Margaret had Eileen to rely on for support.

“She stuck with me through thick and thin.”

Paul Stafford, volunteer support officer at ALONE who trained Eileen when she started, says that the two are a great match.

However, for other people it can be much more difficult to open up to a stranger.

“People lose their spouses of maybe 40-50 years,” he says. “To let someone into your home, to sit in that seat, that stirs a lot of emotions. That takes a lot to break down, a lot of time.”

A cure for loneliness

Paul says demand for ALONE services skyrocketed during the covid lockdown.

“Thousands of older people were ringing because they simply couldn’t get groceries.”

Four years ago ALONE secured funding from the HSE and has since expanded from Dublin to cover all of Ireland.

On top of offering volunteer visit services ALONE also organises regular phone calls and assists the elderly with issues related to housing and social supports.

In regards to loneliness, Paul says that some people who he trains decide to volunteer because they themselves are lonely and looking for connection.

“It’s a very rewarding, and brave thing to do,” he says. “It’s a two-way street.”

‘World’s our oyster’

During the time they spend together, Margaret and Eileen like to go out shopping.

“I have a great eye for fashion,” Margaret says. “I like nice things.”

Eileen nods. “Something will always catch her eye.”

“We were in Dunnes one day, and I said to Margaret: ‘Turn around and look at those two fabulous looking women behind us.’ She turned around and there was a big mirror. It was the two of us.”

Both women laugh, sparkles in their eyes.

When the weather improves, Margaret hopes to get out to Salthill.

“A little walk on the sand, that’d be super.”

Eileen says: “The world’s our oyster.”

“We just clicked. I’m very lucky.”

Margaret agrees. “You’ve made such a difference in my life,” she says.

“I always look forward to her coming here to my home. And I know she’s there for me. If she needs help or anything, I’ll be there for her.”